how the times have changed...

readme.

i guess i can call this my diary. i don't have twitter and i don't want to post this sort of thing on facebook. I also want to leave this on the internet so i can come back to it one day seeing how events in my life have shaped the person i am.leaving it in a paper diary or on my computer will definitely lead itself to being lost. this wont! call this post a reaction to another chapter of my life coming to a close.

I haven't been on this thing for so long. and reading previous posts makes me want to kick myself in the balls, really hard. what kind of puss emotional fake was i before? god

I do admit to having a history of being an idiot. and in many ways, i still am a big idiot. but here i go outlining my current state of life . enjoy if you're reading, but really is for myself.

love.

im 27 now, working, collecting, building the nest egg.

endured another failed relationship recently- albeit was fun while it lasted. count that as 5 real ones now? and a bunch of nitty-gritties. could regain strength once the timing is right. but the future is uncertain and full of surprises.

what am i building this nest-egg for? for myself? ultimately i want to find that person who'll be my partner in crime, to build with and to appreciate each other's efforts. I want to share this with someone who shares my values in life and who is intelligent enough to reason and talk logic with me. its frustrating when all i encounter are people who aren't on my level. they don't get it. this goes for anything and everything - i think there's a little stupid in everyone (including me), and a little more stupid in most.

religion.

i haven't been to church in 4 years. i ask myself if I've lost my salvation and I wonder what God will think of me. i haven't changed as a person nor have my values in life changed. I am essentially the same person the last 4 years as if I've been going to church. Then what is the use of church? i have zero faith in people. if anything, i have faith in God that everyone will get what they deserve when they are judged. In that sense, church is a meaningless establishment built on a social, political, and economical foundation. This is only my opinion. Since i'm so efficiently inclined, I choose to take my sundays off and my mind cleared from here on out. However, if there is a reason to go back (to any church), then i would not rule out a glorious return. I would feel like a spy as newbies would try to convert me, not knowing my 23 years of church under my belt, of which only 12 of the years I knew what was going on.

politics.

zero interest in politics. don't even like to vote. my mom annoyed me so much that i went for the last vote. voted conservative. so i win!

education.

grew up knowing what I had to do. now that I've done it, i realize that i cant stop. learning is life-long. learning is a defense. Learning is protection. dont think that just because you have your bachelor's and a job that you're going to be ok, cause you'll be in for a surprise. the world is harsh, and the world doesn't care.

what does this mean for me? i bought my GMAT books 1.5 years ago and i haven't even opened it. I started reading my CPIM material and booked the first exam. god, definitions putting me to sleep. come on! hate school, but its necessary.

escaping reality.

why do i like 1990s music and movies so much? the oldies music brings me back to when i was a kid. it brings me back to better times where i didnt have to care about anything. didnt have to care about health, the american dream, what my marks were. those were good times. in retrospect, i dont think i wouldve done things differently. i may have possibly went a few different directions with the girlies, but nothing drastic.

i love fantasy movies, movies that show a different world, a different time, anywhere but where i am. i dont like this world that much, mostly because i havent seen much of it. id like to go to the maldives, to bora bora, to greece, to paris. when my dreams become reality, i think i'll have a better mindset on loving life. till then, i'll stick to music and movies.

i cant think of anything else to put on here right now, but i'm sure ill be back at some point to give myself an update.

peace drew

EYES OPENED!!

you can see that my EXAMS ARE OVER SO I CAN DO THINGS LIKE THESE! whatttt!

LOL YAO MINGGG

SCHOOL is so suck!!

so im supposed to graduate soon yah!!!

then what. god!
i have a tentative plan. but if i write it out loud then it wont come true!!
so must be secretive. rawr

took my dad to THE BEST JAP PLACE EVER!!
HANABI SUSHI @ midland and finch = beST!!

i get SPECIAL "L"
tell them the bald asian dude sent you and the sushi master will know!!
you have to say SPECIAL L. not normal L

and got my brakes fixed. my dear friend honda accord is going down soon!
that means i must forecast and see what i should get in the future.

http://www.2008toyotasupra.net/

YES!! whatttt
okay this is more of a dream that won't turn into reality.
BUT!! as long as i stay single and play warcraft all day, then i can afford it soon! YES!!

freaking chinese philosophy essay. must do. dang it
wHERE IS THE EASY BUTTON!!!

i am still random. PAYCE

weee

HOUSE M.D SEASON 2

so i bought the second season yesterday. its sick!! i've watched half the eps already lol. some lines i like from the season thus far are:

"the ultimate woman...is a MAN!" (I KNEW IT!)

"its not easy, but its so simple"





lift offf! walter is blocked by chris! and im still grounded




singles club rawr

be easy.

18 Therefore God has mercy on whom he wants to have mercy, and he hardens whom he wants to harden. 21 Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use?
Romans 9:18, 21


be easy dru, be at ease.

classical

so im sitting here listening to chopin's nocturne no.2
nestled into the blue office chair inside my house, comfortable
with a glance outside, i see moving clouds

reminds me that autumn is coming
i stand outside at work on a busy street of toronto named dufferin
i find a nice spot under a tree on a rich green lawn. no dog poop here, kids
young'ins stand on their porches watching the construction workers hard at work.
grandparents sit on the porch chairs watching the fruit of their children's loins
"bang clank thump" goes the flying debris.
yet through the destruction, there is calm.
the gentle breeze runs by my face as the sun gets momentarily covered by the moving clouds above
what? a god moment while i'm at work?
another gentle breeze floats by
was it the traffic flying by? no, i'd be feeling the wind all day
was it the construction man's downwind release of natural gases? no, it smelled calm
yes, the breeze can smell calm. open your noses next time

what's up? what brings you to me during work?
stupid dru, why are the kids watching the construction workers?
why are the granparents watching their grandchildren?

my notebook and measuring tape fall neatly beside me
my head gently sways back and forth as i lie down
ah. i see..
i love spending time with you too.

//

why.

pissed off. god, why are people so stupid
calm down. things will work out. they have to
pissed off. god, why do people tend to fail us?
calm down. listen to http://www.break.com/top_rated/worlds_best_ukulele_player.html
pissed off. not only pissed for myself but pissed for other people.

your expectations for other people have made you feel this way, dru
think less of other people and you won't be so disappointed next time.
fine. although that is just stupid to think, its the truth.
if you expect people to fail you, then you won't be disappointed when they do.

but god, how can they just do that?
people are selfish and think of themselves much
expect it.

//end

in other news, joanne is an idiot!

(joanne and nathan eating oranges in their kitchen facing the backyard)
joanne: "Ohmigosh!"
shanaytrix: what, what??
joanne: OH nothing, I thought I saw a squirrel in the backyard
shanaytrix: ...
joanne: ..

(they both look closer)
nathan: that's a tree stump, you idiot
joanne: shut up! (joanne runs to get her camera)
It looks like a squirrel standing upright with its hands up!
If people see what I see...
(joanne zooms her camera to the tree stump...)

joanne: ... oh...
shanatrix: ...
joanne: shut up! don't tell anyone!!

//end

songs.

the beatles - hey jude
the beatles - twist and shout
atomic kitten - eternal flame
atomic kitten - whole again
chopin - nocturne No.2
bach - air on G
the lox - if you think im jiggy

hallelujah, grace like rain falls down on me
hallelujah, all my stains are washed away
are washed away